Becoming A Leader Today – What to give up!

 

Whether you are new to leadership, or an established leader taking time out to reflect, it is worth considering your leadership style.  A summer break provides a great opportunity to contemplate lessons learned and the opportunities ahead.

What kind of leader would you like to be? Here are some thoughts on changes you might make and some things you might like to consider giving up!

1. Give up talking down! Has your approach always been focused top-down with instructions flowing from the “top floor” to the rest of the organization?  Now is the time to go for a more collaborative approach!  Have you got the confidence to build discussion into your decision making process?  Try it and see whether you get more or less engagement from your team. Of course if it doesn’t work you can always revert, but I bet you won’t want to.
2. Give up revolution and go for evolution.  If you want to change the team, try focusing on their strengths and build on them. You have a much better chance of getting the results you want if you start small and build on your successes rather than setting out to ‘rock everyone’s world.’
3. Give up coercion and start changing from within. Stephen Covey states in his change theory that ‘change occurs on a broken front.’  Not everyone on your team will be where you are and some may not want to change at all. Start with those who are likely to come on board most easily and get them to change. Then help the change seep out to those who are less enthusiastic.  This is likely to be much more effective than forcing people to do something and then hitting a wall.
4. Give up hypocrisy.  Model in yourself how you want people to be. If you expect people to make positive changes, they need to see it in you.  Set yourself as the example and be visible doing what you’ve asked others to do. You’d be surprised how good the human race is at imitation!
5. Give up taking things for granted!  Make sure that as the ‘right’ things start happening, you recognize the efforts of those who have made it happen.  You’ll find that those who want recognition will work harder for more of it, and push others as well.

There are  other changes you may want to make in yourself as leader.  Give yourself some time for reflection and see what you come up with.  If you are an established leader and want to reflect on your approach in depth then try the mini-stocktake  you will find at this link .

Whichever approach you take, I’d love to hear about your results.
I am Wendy Mason and I work as a personal and business coach, consultant and blogger.  I have worked with many different kinds of people going through personal  and career change. If you would like my help, please email me at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com or ring ++44(0)2084610114 or ++44(0)7867681439.  I will be very pleased to hear from you. I offer half an hour’s free telephone coaching to readers of this blog who quote WW1 – email me to arrange.

Related articles

• Becoming a Leader Today – Manifesto for a Servant Leader(wisewolftalking.com)
• Becoming a Leader Today – What is Leadership? (wisewolftalking.com)    

Are you a resilient leader?

 

Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity.  We need it in our personal  lives and we certainly need it at work! It means we can “bounce back” from difficult experiences.

Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. People usually show resilience but that doesn’t  mean they don’t experience difficulty.

Resilience isn’t necessarily something you are born with it – you learn how to show it.  Relationships that create warmth and trust, that provide role models, and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster a person’s resilience.

Several additional factors are associated with resilience, including:

• The ability to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out
• A positive approach and confidence in yourself
• Communication skills
• Problem solving abilities
• The ability to handle your own emotions

Not everyone reacts the same way to challenges.  An approach to building resilience that works for one person might not work for another.  A person’s culture probably has an impact on how he or she communicates feelings and deals with adversity

But here are some strategies for building your own resilience and encouraging it in those you lead.

1. Develop strong connections with others!  Good relationships with other people mean that you can support each other.  This is particularly important in organizations going through difficulties – sometimes it is only team work that can pull you through!
2. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You may not be able to change what has happened but you can change how you respond.  As the leader, this will affect how others respond. Keep your eye on the bigger picture and look beyond the present to how future circumstances will be better.
3. Accept that change happens. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.
4. Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic and short term goals and start to move towards them.  That will inspire confidence in your ability to move towards your bigger goals and towards a time beyond the present problems.
5. Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as you can and take decisive actions.  Don’t let people detach completely from problems and just wish they would just go away.
6. Encourage people to look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves in difficult circumstances and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of the challenge.  Many people who have experienced difficulties have reported better relationships, a greater sense of strength (even while feeling vulnerable) and an  increased sense of self-worth.
7. Encourage people to nurture a positive view of themselves. Developing confidence in their ability to solve problems and trusting their instincts helps build resilience.
8. As the leader keep things in perspective and maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you and them to expect that the good times will come back.  In turn that probably will speed the time it takes to resolve the problem.

I am Wendy Mason and I work as a personal and business coach, consultant and blogger.  I have worked with many different kinds of people going through personal  and career change. If you would like my help, please email me at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com or ring ++44(0)2084610114 or ++44(0)7867681439.  I will be very pleased to hear from you.

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Becoming a Leader Today – Manifesto for a Servant Leader

In his essay The Servant as Leader, Robert Greenleaf said of servant leadership:

“It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions…The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature.”

Larry C. Spears, who has served as President and CEO of the Robert K. Greenleaf Center  for Servant Leadership since 1990 determined 10 characteristics that are central to the development of a servant leader:

• Listening: A servant leader wants to listen to others and supports them in wanting to communicate.  This means in particular paying attention to what is unspoken. The servant leader relies on the inner voice and finding out what the body, mind and spirit are communicating.
• Empathy: A servant leader wants to understand and empathize with others.  Those the leader works with are recognised, respected and appreciated for their personal development. As a result, leadership is seen as a special type of human work that invests in others which in turn leads to advantage for the organization.
• Healing: A great strength of a servant leader is the ability to heal themselves and others. A servant leader tries to help people solve their problems and resolve conflicts in relationships as they develop their skills. This leads to a working environment which is dynamic and fun without fear of failure.
• Awareness: A servant leader needs self awareness and a more general awareness of others with an integrated, holistic approach that includes ethics and values.
• Persuasion: A Servant Leader does not coerce or threaten but tries to convince. This distinguishes servant leadership most clearly from traditional, authoritarian models and can be traced back to the religious views of Robert Greenleaf himself.
• Conceptualization: A servant leader can see beyond the immediate for the organization  and its day to day operations  A Leader constructs a vision of the future than be developed into goals and  strategies for implementation
• Foresight The leader needs the ability to foresee the likely outcome of a situation.  The servant leader should learn from the past to understand the present and identify consequences for the future.  This requires the leader to be blessed with good judgment!
• StewardshipThe servant leader holds the organization in trust for those with an interest in it and for the wider society.  The servant leadership understands the wider obligation to help and serve others. Openness and persuasion are more important than control.
• Commitment to the growth of people: A servant leader nurtures the personal, professional and spiritual growth of employees and involves them in decisions about the future of the organization
• Building community: A servant leader builds a strong community within his organization and is committed to contributing to the wider community beyond.

I would welcome you views on the servant leader and your experiences. Have you encountered a true servant leader to whom you would like to pay tribute?

I am Wendy Mason and I work as a personal and business coach, consultant and blogger.  I have worked with many different kinds of people going through personal  and career change. If you would like my help, please email me at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com or ring ++44(0)2084610114 or ++44(0)7867681439.  I will be very pleased to hear from you.

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What can marriage teach us about leadership?

There has been a lot of talk recently about weddings and marriage! 


I wondered what marriage might have to teach us about relationships in the workplace and, in particular, leadership.

Psychologist John Gottman is world renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction; he has thirty-five years of breakthrough research on marriage.

Gottman found in his research that three types of couples succeeded.

Validating – good at communication and compromise

Volatile – lots of conflict and passion – they yell but they also laugh more, fight as equals and enjoy the process of resolving disputes

Conflict avoiding – they agree to disagree and re-affirm their shared values, emphasise the positive and value separateness and autonomy.

He found the destructive reactions were;

• Criticism and contempt,
• Defensiveness and withdrawal,
• Loneliness and isolation.

It was important to have what he calls the Magic Ratio of 5 positive interactions for each negative one.

Yes, well, that is marriage of course!  Leaders have to be out there don’t they, leading from the front.  No room for compromise or avoiding conflict.

But surely a successful leader always needs to be good at communication and have the judgement to know when compromise is required.

In a creative environment, generating the new ideas required in a changing world, there may well be conflict.   You hope for passion and laughter too!  But the leader will need to ensure there is a process for resolving the differences that emerge and that people are treated with respect.

All successful organisations will have corporate and shared values but there still needs to be a place for the different view.  People will need to feel they have the leader’s confidence so that they can act with autonomy.

As for the destructive reactions, constant criticism erodes confidence, energy and motivation.  If there is a problem, sort it and move on.  The slow drip, drip of negativity is like a slowly acting poison.

Any leader who feels contempt for his team, let alone shows it, is in the wrong job.

As for a leader who acts with defensiveness towards their own team on a regular basis, or who withdraws away from them (and there are examples), they aren’t really leaders at all, are they?

These are my views on this, but I’d very much welcome yours.  And as for those of you with long and happy marriages, what secrets have you got to share with the leaders of the future?

‘Why Marriages Succeed or Fail’ by John M. Gottman (Paperback …http://amzn.to/mteZe8 ) 

I am Wendy Mason and I work as a personal and business coach, consultant and blogger.  I have worked with many different kinds of people going through personal  and career change. If you would like my help, please email me at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com or ring ++44(0)2084610114 or ++44(0)7867681439.  I will be very pleased to hear from you.